


Express Yourself

by Iwaizumi3939



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:41:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28048665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwaizumi3939/pseuds/Iwaizumi3939
Summary: Every since Oikawa was young he has lost the ability to express his emotions, until meets a certain someone. With this person stay with Oikawa and make him feel again or will he just leave like everyone else...
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. The Crash

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Sorry this isn’t a different version of “Started off as Faking” instead it’s a new fanfic I had the idea of! Hope you enjoy!!

“Toru sweetie, go put on your jacket and we’ll head out ok?”

“Ok mommy!” The 7 year old known was Oikawa Toru went upstairs to go find his jacket, sad when he can’t find it anywhere.

“Mommy! I can’t find my jacket!” Toru cried, eyes turning glossy thinking his mother will be mad at him.

Oikawa’s mother enters the room a worried look on her face, “Aww Toru baby, no need to cry, look I have your jacket right here” she wipes away the tears that’s fallen down Oikawa’s face.

Mrs.Oikawa, makes sure Toru puts his jacket on right, then both heading downstairs together. When they get downstairs they see Toru’s father, Mr.Oikawa.

“Hey honey” Toru’s father greets his wife. Next he greets his son.

“Daddy!!!” Oikawa jumps into his dads arms and hugs him tight.

“Alright are you ready to go see grandma?” Mr.Oikawa puts Toru down and starts heading towards the door, the little boy nodding his head. Tour’s father opens it, walking outside, Oikawa and his mother following.

They all head to the car, getting inside, buckling up, and start driving towards Oikawa’s grandma’s house.

“Hey Toru, why don’t we play a little game?” Mrs.Oikawa turns to look at his son from the front seat.

“Oo Oo, can we play the spying game”

“You mean I spy?”

“Yeah yeah that one!” Oikawa says giggling.

“Yeah we can play that one, I spy something green”

“Is it the trees outside?”

“No.. keep guessing”

“Is it... my little alien” Oikawa points to his shirt.

“You got it!” Mrs.Oikawa claps her hands together giving her son a smile.

“I spy... something brown”

“Is it the trees?” Oikawa’s mother guesses

“Nope hehe”

“Is it my hair?”

“Aww mommy is too good at this game” Oikawa wines

“Hmm well why don’t you give dad a try?”

“Ooo ok! Daddy you go”

“Ok... I spy something handsome, loving, adorable, a good person...” Mr.Oikawa thinks a little more, of words that could describe his son, until...

“HONEY WATCH OUT!”

Mr.Oikawa looks at the road and swerves the car, trying his best not to crash into others.

“Woah, everyone alri-“ Crash... Mr. Oikawa didn’t see the car had stopped ahead, everything was in slow motion for Toru. He watched as his mother and father both die on impact, him surviving.

Darkness, there was a ringing in Oikawa’s ears, and everything was blurry. Oikawa looks at his mom and dad, confused why they are upside down.

Oikawa unbuckled himself hitting his head while he lands, “Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow” Oikawa puts his hands on his head to reduce the pain.

He crawls over to his mother and father and starts shaking them awake.

“Mommy, Daddy wake up, we still have to go to grandmas house.” No response...

“Mommy, Daddy wake up or we’re gonna be late” still nothing...

“Mommy? Daddy? Please wake up” Tears were forming in Oikawa’s eyes now.

Both parents stayed still, not breathing, dead. “MOMMY!! DADDY!! WAKE UP!!” Oikawa’s voice cracked, tears spilling out like a waterfall.

“No... no.. please wake up” Oikawa sat there crying, holding the hands of both his parents.

“Please... please don’t go.. please don’t leave me...”

The ringing got worse and his vision got even more blurry, soon Oikawa passed out.

5 hours later Oikawa woke up in the hospital all alone, in a room, hooked up to chords and in a hospital gown...


	2. New home?

“M-mommy?” Oikawa looked around scared, he was in the hospital, he hated going there so much. 

Oikawa starts panicking because he wasn’t with his parents and he was all alone. He hears the door open and someone comes in. 

“Hey Toru, how are you feeling?”

“Oh H-hi Dr. Yoruba... I don’t feel so good” He puts one hand on his head to indicate the pain “Do you know where my mom is?”

“That’s what I came here to talk about Toru...”

“W-Wha? Is there something wrong with her? What about my dad? Is he ok?” Oikawa started panicking, his breathing was getting unsteady and his heart beat was going incredibly fast.

“Woah, Woah, Woah there, Toru please calm down”

It takes Oikawa a few minutes and a couple glasses of water to calm down. 

“Toru what I’m about to tell you with change your life, but I want you to stay calm ok?”

“O-okay..”

“On your way to your grandmothers house, your family got into a car accident, your the only one that survived, we tried everything we can to save your mother and father, but there wasn’t anything we could do, I’m terribly sorry Toru”

“W-What”

“Toru-“

“NO” Oikawa screamed cutting his doctor off.

“NO THIS CANT BE TRUE”

“Toru please-“

“NO” Tears were running down his face, and they couldn’t seem to stop.

“NO NO NO NO NO NO NO” Oikawa tried to get up from his bed, his cords not letting him go. So he ripped the cords of his arm and ran, he ran out of the room, into the hallway, somewhere he can be alone. 

There was a big crashing sound, Toru wonder where it came from... after 3 minutes he realizes it came from him, he crashed into a lady pushing a cart, he fell the ground hitting his head, blacking out once again.

Oikawa woke up 30 minutes later in the same room he wanted to get away from, but this time he felt different. He didn’t feel grief or sadness, he wasn’t even scared that he was in the hospital anymore. 

He had a blank face, his eyes, face, everything apart of him showed no emotion. 

Oikawa stayed in the hospital for a couple more days until his aunt came to pick him up and take him home with her.

“Hey Toru...”

“Hello Auntie” Oikawa said with no expression.

“Guess what? Your gonna be living in Miyagi with me now, isn’t that exciting!” She says trying to cheer him up. 

“Yay, sounds fun” He says, putting no meaning into the words.

Oikawa had no more feelings, he lost both his parents 2 days ago and today he’s leaving Tokyo to live with his Aunt in Miyagi. 

“I brought you some clothes... and don’t worry about packing we already moved all you stuff to my place.” 

“Thanks Auntie”

Oikawa goes off to change and then both of them head out to Miyagi. 

The drive to Miyagi was pretty far, by the time they got there it was pitch black outside. 

Oikawa’s Aunt unlocks the door, letting herself and Oikawa inside. Luckily Oikawa already knows the interior design of the place, he remembers visiting his Aunt almost every other weekend. 

“You know the old guest room, where you would stay over on the weekends? That was turned into your room, come on I’ll show you”

Oikawa’s Aunt goes upstairs, Toru trailing behind her. 

“Ta da!! I hope you like it” His Aunt shows him the room, it looks exactly like what his room back in Tokyo looked like.

“Yeah I do, thanks Auntie” Oikawa says in a quiet voice but loud enough for his Aunt to hear.

“Well if you need anything just ask ok? Night Toru.”

His Aunt leaves to go downstairs to her own room, leaving Toru alone.

Oikawa looks around his room, thinking about all his friends back in Tokyo, his parents, all the good memories. All of this could make him cry, but it didn’t, he wanted to cry but he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t cry anymore. 

Oikawa spots something, a picture of him and his parents a week before the crash. He takes the picture and places it in a drawer to the side of his desk. 

Oikawa changes into some pajamas, going to his bed and just lies there. He checks the time on a clock in the room, 1:35 am. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t feel emotions anymore. 

He knew he could just end it now... but he already put his Aunt through the trouble of moving all his stuff to her place. 

30 minutes later Oikawa finally went to sleep, wishing he could just sleep forever.


	3. I don’t care

It was a regular day for Oikawa, he’d wake up, brush his hair, eat breakfast, go to school, then come home afterwards. But today was different... 

As Oikawa made his was to Kitagawa Daiichi Middle School, someone comes up to him. 

Oikawa falls to the ground being pushed by the boy, “Hey stupid, give me your lunch money!” 

Oikawa gets up and tries to walk away only to be punched in the face by another boy.

“He said give him your lunch money, dumbass”

Oikawa tries to get up again, only to be kicked in the stomach. Both boys start kicking him, Oikawa on the ground somehow with a blank face on, not giving a care in world. 

“HEY! STOP THAT YOU TWO, BOTH OF YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE NOW!” A teacher came running, grabbing both of the boys wrists, handing them over to another teacher to take them to the principal’s office.

Oikawa gets up, brushing his legs off, falling back onto the floor due to the physical pain.

“Hey are you-“ 

“I’m fine” Oikawa said interrupting the teacher.

“Are you sure? Should we call your par-“

“I said I’m fine, you don’t need to call anyone, and I don’t need to go to the nurses office” Oikawa says calmly.

“You should still go to-“

“I’m heading to class now, and thank you.” Oikawa leaves to go to his classroom, leaving the teacher with a worried look on his face.

Oikawa was used to the mean names and all the playful acts but being physically abused was new. He decided to just try to get used to it just like he did with everything else. 

Oikawa sat in the very back of the class, somewhere where people wouldn’t notice him. 

“Hey look, it’s that stupid Oikawa kid”

“Oikawa is so ugly”

“He’s so dumb”

“I heard he’s like this because he killed his parents”

“He’s a murder??”

“Yeah, stay away from him, we don’t wanna be his next victims”

“I heard he always eats lunch in the bathroom”

“Ew that’s gross”

“Well he is a gross boy”

“I heard he’s killed more people than just his parents”

“Like who?”

“Just random people? I don’t know man, I just heard that he did”

Oikawa didn’t care what everyone else thought, what they said, and what they did, he didn’t care. He knew what really happened and he knew he would never do the things they say he did.

Class ends, now it’s lunch time. Oikawa makes his way to the cafeteria, gets his food and tries to leave to the rooftop.

Oikawa bumps into someone, the person that tried to take his lunch money this morning.

“Hey Stupid” Oikawa just tries to leave not wanting to talk to the boy, failing when the other boy from this morning, takes his lunch.

“Thanks for the food” Oikawa just stands there for a while with a face showing no emotion.

Everyone starts whispering about how he didn’t fight for himself, that’s he’s such a weird kid for not getting mad, and what they would do if they were in that situation. 

Oikawa leaves to the rooftop, a little surprised that the 2 boys that stole his lunch are up there, but he doesn’t show he is.

“So this is where you go to cry, since you don’t got no parents to cry to.”

Oikawa tries to leave, but one of the boys blocked the door.

“Say something! Why the hell do you always have a blank face on???” The boy not blocking the door punches Oikawa in the face.

Oikawa now on the floor, tries to get up, only to be punched again.

“Why the hell won’t you do anything?!?!?” The boy starts kicking Oikawa.

“Ren give it up already, its just sad now”

“NO NOT UNTIL HE GIVES ME MY SATISFACTION” He keeps kicking Oikawa.

Oikawa’s just on the ground, wondering how he’ll explain to his Auntie about all the bruises.

“Ren there no point, at this point it’s like your beating up a dead person, so just give it up”

“Fine” Ren kicks the boy one more time right in the gut, causing Oikawa to cough up blood.

Ren and the other boy leave the rooftop, leaving Oikawa alone.

Oikawa has never felt so much physical pain before...

Oikawa stays there for the rest of the day, he’s so glad he’ll be going to a different school next year, he graduates in a couple of days.

Oikawa finally leaves the rooftop, bumping into someone. 

“Hey! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going!” The boy bows indicating that he truly is sorry.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“No no, I’m sorry! By the way I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, you are?”

“Oikawa Toru”

“Well nice to meet you Oikawa! Oh, I gotta go, see ya tomorrow?”

“Maybe, Bye Iwaizumi-San”

Oikawa leaves with a weird feeling in his stomach, someone was actually being nice to him?

Oikawa unlocks the door, takes off his shoes, and heads to his room. His Aunt normally doesn’t get home until late, and during this time Oikawa does his homework, but today he has to figure out a way to cover up all the bruises. 

He decides to take a hot shower, to help with the bruises, and wear a long sleeve and sweats for pajamas. 

It’s already 7 and Oikawa’s Aunt hasn’t come home yet so, Oikawa makes dinner, eats, and leaves a bowl out for when she comes home.

Oikawa stays in his room for the rest of the night. He hears the front door open and goes into bed and covers himself with the sheets so his Aunt doesn’t suspect he has any bruises.

Oikawa pretends to fall asleep when his Aunt comes into his room. 

“Hey Toru...? Hmm... Must be asleep”  
His Aunt goes over to Oikawa, kisses him on the forehead, then leaves the room with a worried look on her face. 

Oikawa opens his eyes, feeling nothing. He stays up until 12:37, until finally falling asleep, dreaming about the boy who was nice to him today.


	4. New emotions

Oikawa was on his way to school, having to hear all the shit he didn’t care about.

“Your such a loser”

“Looks it’s Oikawa ew”

“Ew he’s such ugly person”

“I heard the reason he wasn’t in class most of the day was because he was crying in the bathroom.”

“Ew he’s such a loser”

“He’s such a crybaby”

“OI- OIKAWA HEYYY!” 

Oikawa looked to see who yelled his name... it was Iwaizumi, he was waving his arm, happy to see Oikawa.

“What is that guy doing-“

“Is he trying to be nice to that loser?”

Oikawa was suprised to see Iwaizumi happy to see him, he was actually happy to see him too.

Iwaizumi made his way to Oikawa and starts walking with him the rest of the way to school.

“Hello Iwaizumi-San”

“Man I thought Iwaizumi was a cool dude, but now he hangs out with that loser” A boy says loud enough for Iwaizumi and Oikawa to hear.

“HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH! OIKAWA IS NOT A LOSER!!”

“Iwaizumi-San please... it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine Oikawa, I’ve seen what’s happened to you and... I wish I got the courage to talk to you sooner.” Iwaizumi grabs both Oikawa hands and looks him straight in the eyes

“Ew now he’s standing up for him and being all cheesy”

“WHY YOU LITTLE-“ Iwaizumi was about to punch the guy but Oikawa stops Iwaizumi by hugging him.

“Iwaizumi-San please stop...”

“But...-“

“Please stop...”

“Tch! Fine, Come on Oikawa let’s go” Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s hand and they walk the rest of the way to school.

Everyone was staring at Oikawa and Iwaizumi, they couldn’t believe Iwaizumi was holding hands with a “loser”.

“Look... is that Iwaizumi?”

“Is he holding hands with... Oikawa?”

“Ew he’s now one of them”

“He’s such a loser for hanging out with Oikawa”

Iwaizumi heard all these words and in attempt for them to stop talking he starts to loosen his grip around Oikawa’s hand. Oikawa and feel Iwaizumi loosening his grip and tightens his. Iwaizumi looks back at Oikawa, Oikawa looking back at him with a faceless expression.

Iwaizumi squeezes Oikawa’s hand and they head off to class.

For the first time in years Oikawa and actually feel himself being a little happy, but not happy enough for it to show. He’s happy that someone actually does care and wants to look out for him. 

So, when it’s time to part ways for class, Oikawa gives Iwaizumi a hug, Iwaizumi hugs back, everyone else disgusted by the scene.

“Hey, I’ll see you later ok? And stop with with the honorifics please, Iwaizumi is just fine”

“But I always use honorifics...”

“Well you can just call me Iwaizumi”

“Hmm...” Oikawa let go of the hug thinking for a minute.

“Is something wrong?”

“No no...” Oikawa came up with an idea.

“Because I always add ‘San’ to everyone’s name... I’ll call you Iwa-Chan”

“I-Iwa-Chan?!?!?”

“Yes Iwa-Chan” Oikawa put on a small smile.

In the first time in years, one boy, Iwaizumi Hajime, was able to make Oikawa smile. They haven’t known each other that long either, yet Iwaizumi was able to make Oikawa smile.

Iwaizumi returned the smile, and give Oikawa a soft punch in the arm.

“See ya later Oikawa”

“See ya later Iwa-Chan”

After Iwaizumi left, Oikawa entered his classroom, going to his desk. The small smile he had on his face now gone.

‘Looser’

‘Dumbass’

‘Faggot’

All these words were written on Oikawa’s desk in black marker. All the happiness Oikawa felt was gone, even though it was only a little, it meant a lot to him that he felt his emotions again and just like that they’ve disappeared.

Oikawa didn’t even try to clean his desk, he just stared at it.

“Guys come on that was mean”

“So who cares?”

“I bet she cares”

“No don’t, honestly it just depressing at this point”

“If you don’t care the prove it”

“Ok”

The girl walks up to Oikawa and tries to slap him on the face, but something stops them, or more like someone.

Iwaizumi had a bad feeling so he walked down the hall and hid around the corner until Oikawa went into his classroom. Iwaizumi threw the girls hand away from Oikawa’s face.

“Don’t you dare touch him.”

“What are you his boyfriend?” The girl asks

“I- no umm..-“ 

“EWWW IWAIZUMI HAS A CRUSH ON OIKAWA” A boy exclaims 

“NO I DONT!” Iwaizumi’s face started to grow red.

“YEAH YOU DO” Everyone was saying ew and had disgusted faces on.

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi and thought about who he really was, or what he knew about him. He remembered that he was actually in the same class as him, that he’s seen him so many times before but never noticed. Someone times Oikawa would have dreams of Iwaizumi, even before they formally met. In those dreams he would feel loved, protected, wanted, and good about himself. 

“NO I DONT!” Oikawa snapped out of his thoughts due to Iwaizumi denying he has a crush on Oikawa.

“YOU DO TOO, YOUR SO NASTY! YOU LIKE THAT LOSER!” 

“HES NOT A LOSER!!”

“YOU BOTH ARE LOSERS!!!”

Iwaizumi has had enough, he starts walking to the guy insulting Oikawa and himself, but someone grabs his hand before he could get close enough to hurt him. Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand holding onto it tight.

“Iwaizumi- I- Iwa-Chan”

Iwaizumi turns around to Oikawa and looks at him with soft eyes.

“Please don’t... it’ll make it worse, you’ll get bullied too”

“But Oikawa..-“

“Iwa-Chan please...” Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi with tears in his eyes, for the first time in forever Oikawa was gonna cry. They could only hear themselves, like everyone else disappeared.

Iwaizumi wipped away Oikawa’s tears, bring him into a hug.

“I promise I’ll protect you”

“I-Iwa-Chan... you don’t have it”

“But I want to, for as long as I live I’ll protect you, I’ll keep you safe, I’ll be your safe place.”

“I-Iwa-Chan...” Last time Oikawa cried was when he was seven due to his parents death, now eight years later, he’s crying because he’s never felt so loved and cared for since then. 

“I-Iwa-Chan...” 

“Yes Oikawa?”

“Can you promise me on more thing?”

“Anything”

“Will your promise never to leave me...?”

Iwaizumi pulls out of the hug and gives Oikawa a small smile.

“I Iwaizumi Hajime, promises to never leave and to protect Oikawa Toru.”

Class goes back to normal, everyone still disgusted about what happened. 

During lunch, Oikawa goes to get him lunch and the same 2 boys that stole his lunch yesterday took it again, Ren and Tanji.

Oikawa let’s them take his lunch, he tries to leave to the rooftop but he hears something drop on the floor.

“HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!”

“I don’t get what you mean?”

“YOU MADE ME DROP MY LUNCH!”

“First of all it wasn’t yours and second of all I didn’t make you drop it, your clearly just tipped.”

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

“Your words mean nothing to me.” Iwaizumi said, he didn’t care what he was called, he could be beat up for all he cared, he just wanted to look out for the person he loved. 

Oikawa left to the rooftop, not wanting to see what would happen next. 5 minutes later Iwaizumi joins him.

Iwaizumi takes his bento and hands it to Oikawa.

“I-Iwa-Chan...”

“Here, take it, you need to eat.”

“But Iwa-Chan you need to eat too.”

“Well then... hmm...” Iwaizumi moved one of his hands indicating that he’s thinking. He snapped both of his fingers, showing that he came up with an idea.

Iwaizumi takes his chopsticks and moves them near Oikawa’s mouth.

“Say aaaaa” 

“Iwa-Cha-“ Iwaizumi shoved food into Oikawa’s mouth.

Iwaizumi puts some food into his mouth too, feeding Oikawa more when he was finished chewing.

“Iwa-Chan! I can feed myself!” Oikawa says pouting.

“Then here” Iwaizumi gives Oikawa the chopsticks.

“Actually... you can do it” 

“That’s what I thought” Iwaizumi smiled “Now say aaaa”

“aaaaa”

When they finished, they sat there in comfortable silence. After a while Oikawa started crying, yes, the Oikawa Toru was crying, he hasn’t cried in so long, it actually felt good to cry.

“Hey, are you ok? Did I do something wrong?” Iwaizumi said in a concerned voice, preying Oikawa’s hands away from his face.

“No, no, Iwa-Chan you didn’t do anything wrong... it’s just that... after so many years, no matter what I did I couldn’t feel any emotion... and you.. you make me feel emotions again... when I’m with you I can actually feel again... It’s like I never lost my emotions in the first place...”

“Oikawa...”

“Iwa-Chan...”

Ever since the day Iwaizumi met Oikawa he was in love. Oikawa didn’t know but Iwaizumi and him have known each other ever since they were 10. Now their 15 and Iwaizumi has waited too long.

Iwaizumi finally moves Oikawa’s hands out of his face, wiping away a tear, leaning in...

They kiss...

Oikawa felt something in him spark. His heart started racing, and he just wanted to be held by Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi pulls away.

“I-I’m so sorry!” Iwaizumi’s face was a dark red, as well as Oikawa’s.

Iwaizumi tried to leave out of embarrassment, but Oikawa brings him back in for another kiss.

Oikawa pulls away, hugging Iwaizumi.

“I love you Iwa-Chan...”

“I love you too Oikawa”

They stay on the rooftop for the rest of the day, resting in each other’s arms.


	5. Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Sorry I haven’t uploaded in a while... but anyways hope you enjoy the chapter. And for those who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas and I hope you all have a Happy New Year!! Also if you see any typos just deal with it, it might make you laugh.
> 
> -Lots of love from Author-San aka basically an irl female version of Iwaizumi Hajime

Oikawa woke up in his bed, feeling sad and lonely yet not able to express his emotions. Turns out that was all a dream. 

All those emotions he felt inside the dream were still there, he just couldn’t express it. He’s known Iwaizumi since they were 10, their 15 now but they never formally met until yesterday. 

Oikawa gets up from his bed and makes his way his closet to grab his school clothes. He changes in his closet, then goes to the bathroom to fix his hair.

Once Oikawa is in the bathroom, he takes a brush and brushes his hair so it looks decent enough to go to school. Oikawa dropped his brush, leaning down to pick it up, falling onto the floor in pain because of why happened the day before.

“AAAGGHHHH” Oikawa screamed in pain.

“TORU!” Oikawa’s Aunt yelled in a concerned voice.

Oikawa quickly got up and stood on the toilet, making it look like there was something on the floor.

“Toru?!?!?” Oikawa’s Aunt opens the door, finding Oikawa standing on top of the toilet seat. 

“Why are you standing on the toilet?” 

“I saw spider” Oikawa says with a blank face, his body was shaking a little due to the pain but his Aunt thought it was because he was scared. 

“Do you know where it went?” His Aunt asked, looking around. 

“No, I just saw something that looked like a spider and screamed.”

“Well you start school soon, go get your bag and I’ll drop you off, k?”

“It’s fine I can walk”

“But-“

“Auntie I said it’s fine, I can walk, I want the fresh air anyway”

“Fine but... I’ll pick you up after school ok?”

“No, no, it’s fine”

“Toru..-“

“Auntie I promise it’s fine, you have work too”

Oikawa leaves the bathroom, going to his own room, picking up his bag and going downstairs.

He takes a little piece of milk bread and heads out for school.

Oikawa was thinking about his dream, about the emotions he felt and that he still feels them, about Iwaizumi Hajime. 

Oikawa was so focused in thought that he bumped into someone. Oikawa closed his eyes, waiting to be slapped.

“Hey watch where your-“

The guy he bumped into turned around and looked at Oikawa. 

“Oh hey Oikawa” Oikawa slowly opened his eyes to make eye-contact with Iwaizumi.

“Hi Iwa-Chan.”

“I-I-Iwa-Chan?!?!?”

“O-Oh right sorry... that wasn’t real”

“What wasn’t real?”

“Nothing Iwa-Chan”

“HEY LOOK ITS THE LOSER” Oikawa and Iwaizumi look over at who shouted it and it was Ren, they guy that beat him up on the rooftop yesterday.

Oikawa can feel a little bit of fear run through his body and hides behind Iwaizumi.

“AWW OIKAWA BUDDY NO NEED TO HIDE” Ren starts walking towards them.

“Leave him alone” Iwaizumi gets in a pose indicating he’s gonna protect Oikawa.

“Aww what are you, his body guard?”

“You could say something like that”

“Hmm... Ok, Well see you later Oikawa” Ren put on a devilish smile on his face.

“No”

“No what Iwaizumi?”

“You will not be seeing Oikawa later” 

“Why not?” Ren raises an eyebrow.

“Because... I’ll be hanging out with Oikawa later”

“Hmm... fine, I’ll let you two have alone time”

Iwaizumi blushed at this, Oikawa feeling the same warm feelings he had in his dream.

Oikawa stops hiding, and makes his way to class, but is stopped. Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s hand and walks to class with him, since they have the same class.

“Ew what is Iwaizumi doing?”

“Are they holding hands?”

“I thought Iwaizumi was cool, now he’s such a loser for hanging out with him.”

“I knew Iwaizumi was kind hearted but I thought he was at least smart enough to not hang out with him.”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi heard all these words as they walked down the hall to their classroom. Iwaizumi was pissed of at all those people for being rude to Oikawa, he was also pissed at them for saying mean things about him, but mostly because of the things they say about Oikawa.

Oikawa didn’t care about these words, he was used to them after all the years.

Once they both entered class they sat at their desks which was surprisingly right next to each other. Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa’s desk and saw all the words scribbled in black marker by all the other kids.

Iwaizumi takes a wet towel and starts wiping Oikawa’s desk down, everyone surprised by this. Out of all the times Iwaizumi saw his desk like this, this was the first time he actually decided to do something. 

By the time Iwaizumi finished, the teacher had come in and asked him to take his seat.

“Alright class-“

“Your such a stupid loser Iwaizumi!”

The teacher and some other students all gasped. 

“And?” Iwaizumi asked

“Your a loser for hanging out with Oikawa and protecting him”

“So? Does it look like I care?” Iwaizumi said back.

The boy got up and walked over to Iwaizumi and slapped him in the face. Iwaizumi shocked by this, the teacher calling the boys parents, Iwaizumi about to punch the guy in the face, Oikawa stopping him. 

“Don’t... you’ll get bullied too... and please stop trying to protect me... I’m fine by myself...”

“Oikawa... No”

“But Iwa-Chan...”

“I don’t care what you say, what anyone says, I wanna be friends with you” 

“Well, I say, you both are losers now, your both stupid, ugly, people, who don’t deserve to-“ Ren was cut off being punched in the face, but he wasn’t punched in the face by Iwaizumi, it was Oikawa who did it.

“I don’t care what you say about me, I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t even care if you abuse me” Oikawa says while grabbing Ren’s collar, “But if you say or do anything, and I mean anything to my Iwa-Chan, you’ll regret it.”

“Your Iwa-Chan? What are you gonna do, tell your parents? Oh wait, your parents are dead.” Ren put on a devilish smile, Oikawa punching him in the face, causing him to fall on the floor.

Everyone gasped. They were all shocked, surprised and scared. Even the teacher was left speechless. This was the first time Oikawa has ever showed expression since he was 7. 

“So, the emotionless loser is actually able to give a good fight.” Ren struggling to get up from the floor, and punches Oikawa in the gut, but before his fist could reach impact the teacher finally steps in.

“That’s enough!” Both boys flinching to the teachers voice. “ Both of you take your seats so we can start class. Oikawa we will be calling your Aunt about this-“

“HA! Your getting in trouble!”

“Oh, don’t you think your out of this too Ren, you were the whole reason this started, we will be calling home to come pick you up and a week of detention.”

“THATS NOT FAIR!”

“What’s not fair? That you’ve been making fun Oikawa ever since you’ve known him and that not that he finally makes a friend you have to make everything even worse? I will not tolerate this behavior from you Ren, go to the principals office now!” The teacher points at the door, indicating Ren to leave right this instant if he doesn’t want to get in more trouble.

“WHAT? SO YOU KNEW THAT WHAT HE WAS GOING THROUGH YET YOU DID NOTHING? HA SOME GREAT TEACHER YOU ARE!”

“Well...” The teacher slams both of his hands on his desk up front” “THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED YOU BULLIED HIM IN THR FITST PLACE! NOW GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!” 

Ren was about the yell back but the teacher yelled back, “I SAID NOW!”

Ren looked over at Oikawa “This isn’t over loser.” He walks out of class, everyone silent.

Oikawa was really surprised at his actions, it’s like he had no control of himself. He started shivering, scared that he’ll hurt anyone else. 

Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa surprised he actually did that, but when he saw that he was shivering his eyes grew soft.

“Hey Oikawa” Iwaizumi putting a hand on his back “You ok?”

“Y-yeah...”

“Okay, come on, get in your seat so the teacher can start class now”

“O-Ok Iwa-Chan”

Oikawa makes his way to his seat, still scared but happy, he was able to show emotion. He was disappointed that his first emotion for the first time in years was anger but he was still happy that he was able to express how he was feeling.

Lunch was worse... Because Ren wasn’t there, his friend Nato gathered about 3 more people to bully Oikawa with. Oikawa was grabbing his lunch when he was pushed to the ground. Iwaizumi came running over, pushing the guy that pushed Toru. 

“Leave me alone, I never did anything to you so fuck off.” Oikawa says getting up and brushing off his legs and leaving to go to the rooftop.

Oikawa closes the stairway door and leans against it. 

He sighs, slowly making his way to siting on the floor “Why does this have to happen to me...” Oikawa sobs, wiping his tears away, startled when he heard knocking on the door.

“Go away!” He yelled

“Oikawa it’s me...” Iwaizumi from the other side said.

“I don’t care just go away!”

“I’m not going away until you open this door Oikawa”

Oikawa just sits there, crying, wanting to open the door yet at the same time not wanting to.

“Oikawa... can you please open the door”

Oikawa finally finds the strength to open the door and is immediately hugged by Iwaizumi once he opens it.

“It’s ok to cry, I’m here, let it all out.” Just hearing these words made Oikawa a crying mess. He hasn’t cried in about 8 years and now he was finally letting it all out.

“It’s ok, I’m here, I’ll always be here for you” Iwaizumi says trying to soothe Oikawa when he’s done crying, trying to steady his breathing.

Iwaizumi brings out his bento, handing it to Oikawa. 

“Here, you need to eat.”

“It’s your food, you should eat it”

“If your not gonna take it then I’m just gonna have to feed you.”

“What?!?” When Oikawa was done questioning what he was saying, Iwaizumi shoved food in his mouth.

“Shut up and eat” Iwaizumi was the aggressive caring type but when it came to Oikawa he was soft for some reason.

For the rest of lunch Iwaizumi fed himself and Oikawa, Oikawa laughing when Iwaizumi tried to cheer him up. For the first time in forever Oikawa felt happy, he felt Loved, he felt like he belonged.

Soon Oikawa drifted off to sleep because of all the crying he did, resting his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. 

The lunch bell rings meaning that it’s now time for next period. Iwaizumi looks over at Oikawa and thinks he looks beautiful when he’s asleep. Iwaizumi lets Oikawa sleep, and actually dozed off to sleep.

It wasn’t until the end of the school bell that Iwaizumi woke up again, surprisingly Oikawa was still asleep. Iwaizumi put Oikawa on his back and started to make his way off the rooftop towards their lockers. 

Iwaizumi got to their lockers, grabbing his bag, asking Oikawa who was now wake but half asleep, what his locker combination was, Oikawa mumbled some numbers, but Iwaizumi was able to hear him.

Oikawa was now holding both of their bags, while Iwaizumi was carrying Oikawa on his back.

Everyone was giving Oikawa and Iwaizumi weird stares. They were all talking about how nasty they are and that their faggots and mean shit like that.

“So Oikawa where do you live?” Iwaizumi asked when they walked off school campus.

“Oh, take a right on 67th then a left on 65th, 3rd house to the right.

“We must live pretty close then, I’m the 4th house down.”

“So we’re neighbors?”

“Seems like it” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“I can visit Iwa-Chan whenever I want then!”

“Yeah... maybe we can have sleepovers?”

“OH MY GOD IWA-CHAN YOU GENIUS!”

“Oikawa stop shouting in my ear!!!!”

“Sorry Iwa-Chan hehehehe” Oikawa put on a big smile, the first real big smile ever since he was 7.

“Well, here’s where I drop you off Oikawa”

“But Iwa-Chan-“

“Oikawa off”

“Hmph fine” Oikawa gets hops off Iwaizumi, hands him his bag and heads towards the door.

He looks back at Iwaizumi who’s waving, walking up to the door next over.

“Cya tomorrow Oikawa”

“Cya tomorrow Iwa-Chan” both the boys unlock their doors and enter closing the door behind them.

When Oikawa gets inside he takes off his shoes, surprised to see his Aunt home, cooking dinner.

“Toru did you get into a fight today?”

Oikawa forgot all about the fight, and he was trembling just thinking about it.

“Toru?” Oikawa’s Aunt looked at Oikawa with concern.

“N-nothing happened, me and a kid were just arguing over something stupid, nothing serious” Oikawa lies.

“Hmm.. ok then what’s this?” Oikawa’s Aunt pulls up Oikawa’s sleeve to reveal multiple bruises.

“Their nothing! I just kept on running into things... ahaha” Oikawa laughed trying to act embarrassed.

“Hmm well okay... by the way who was that boy with you outside?”

“Which boy?”

“The one giving you a piggy back ride?”

“Oh him?” Oikawa started playing with his fingers “he’s just a friend”

“Hmm doesn’t seem like it...” Oikawa’s Aunt squinting her eyes and glaring at Oikawa.

“Auntie he’s just a friend.” Oikawa says covering his face with his hands, because he now he was actually embarrassed.

“Oh my god Toru you like him, don’t you?”

“AUNTIE!” Oikawa looking at his Aunt with flushed cheeks 

“So you do!!” Oikawa’s Aunt went back to cooking dinner. 

“No I don’t!!!” Oikawa sat at the table laying his face down on it.

“I’m pretty sure you do Toru” Oikawa’s Aunt laughed.

“Aaaaggghhhh, I dont!”

“No matter how much you keep denying it Toru, I’ll still think you like that boy. Anyways, what’s his name?”

“Iwaizumi Hajime....” Oikawa smiles when he says his name.

His Aunt just looks at him with a smile, for the first time in years she’s finally seeing Oikawa feeling emotions again, and he’s in love.

“What?” Oikawa asks because she’s been staring for more than she thought.

“Oh nothing, it’s just that your totally in love with that boy.”

“NO IM NOT AUNTIE!!!” Oikawa jolts up, blushing a dark red.

“Sure you aren’t”

“IM NOT IN LOVE WITH IWA-CHAN!”

“Iwa-Chan? Is that what you call Iwaizumi?”

“No, I-“

“Aww Toru that’s so cute, you are so in love.”

“Hmph no I’m not!”

“Anyways here’s your dinner, be careful it’s still hot.” Oikawa’s Aunt places a plate of food in front of Oikawa and sits down across from him as well.

“Thank you for the food!” They both say in unison and start eating.

It’s really rare for them to eat together, so whenever they do they try to make the most out of it. After their done eating they try to make milks bread because it’s Oikawa’s favorite. They failed... but that doesn’t mean they had a fun time.

They burned the milk bread and the kitchen is a big mess but they had a lot of fun together. What was even better was that Oikawa was actually expressing emotions while it was all happening, whenever they used to do it he had a blank face on and did nothing to show emotion.

They laughed, made a mess, burned the bread but it was all worth it in the end. 

Oikawa went to bed that night thinking of Iwaizumi and that somehow because of him he was able to feel emotions. Iwaizumi was changing him and it was scary, but he was ready for a change, he was ready to feel again.


	6. Ehhh, not a chapter :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll most likely delete this after I make the new chapter

I really wanna make a new chapter to this, I really do, I have something in mind but.... I just can’t right now. I’m not in the right mental state and I’m crying and life is just being too much right now. I’m really sensitive about everything really now and... I just can’t I’m sorry if it take a while for me to update.


End file.
